M.I.S.S.

hulla..its been a while after i deleted my previous blog.. its a right decision when a simple thing that reveal your lifestyle need to have a barrier and it starts with a deletion. In this new blog i'll talk nonsense and being truthful as that is what i am..truthful, ignorant, stubborn, and being a good lover to whom i LOVE.

I'm in a dilemma right now.. i'm 24 this year and really bothered by commitment issues.. i really want to get involve with this matter but how far can i survive is the particular QUESTION. i dont want to hurt somebody's feeling when i don't involve such effort making a good life.. i'm just not ready yet.. Once i had this spirit of going through anything that confronts me legally and illegally but it dissapeared into thin air when my patient tested too much and it relates to my pride and dignity.

Well, being honest in blog is quite helpful though its a cheap shot. Its better than none, right? After 1 year and a half from that specific tragic moment i realised that too many things that i missed out from the real world.. i started to fly here and there without any wings. its a long time for me before i can stand back on my own feet. For my information too all this while i should have a better life as a single rather than being couple. Instead, somebody has been waiting for me about 2 years now and in fact i really knew her before. what a shame. But now its too late when i got this news that we cant really have this relation as faith dont want us to be together. She is the one that really question my acts -is it true that you can..- . She control my mind not to be on air a lot. We lived in reality and less dreams. But its too late now.. I hope that God will give another chances to fix this matter and go on with her.

Its nearly 3 days nows i haven't heard anything from her.. is she okay?Is she stable?how serious would it be? i missed her companion so much.. i really2 misses her texts. her voice,her looks.. oh god come on..why did you ever invented this feeling?it burdens me too much..i miss her. But don't let me miss her too much..i have my life to handle.. i really want to meet her right now.. im writing this blog and hopes that she will be able to read it one day..